Ridiculous

It's ridiculously late.  5:09 AM to be exact.  

I'm tired.  I could sleep.  I should sleep. 

But, I feel compelled to write something.  

This post is not it.  

Earlier this evening, I was driving, and I was listening to some new songs I put onto my iPod, and I got the urge to make a movie.  This is a reoccurring urge, for those who don't know.  

I'm not a big film buff.  I like watching movies, but the movies I like watching aren't always award winners (i.e. Orange County, Saving Silverman, and Galaxy Quest to name a few).  I mean, I like a lot of movies, and I don't only like stupid comedies, but I also like drama, action, tragedy, film noir.  The only genre I don't really enjoy is horror.  Not because I'm afraid, but because, I don't find the plots to be enjoyable, also I'd rather not watch someone get decapitated, unless it's some battle scene of an action movie.  A very violent action movie.  

What is your greatest fear?  Tell me (willingly).  

I cannot say what my number one greatest fear is.  But I can say that one of my greatest fears is settling for love.  

I love a lot of things.  Although I struggle with my faith more than I should, I know I will always be loved, and I will always love God.  Same goes with my family.  I love my friends, but I don't know if they all love me back, but I still love them.  

I'm stuck on this idea of making a movie about NOT settling for love.  People have told me that this is stupid.  Okay, maybe not as direct as that, but I can pick up on subtle hints.  

The kind of movies I like best, are the ones where in the end, nobody is happy.  I don't know why.  I would never want my life to end that way.  I want to be a happy person.  And for the most part, I think I am.  

But there is something so intriguing about tragedy.  I can't put it into words at the moment.  Mostly because my vocabulary sucks.  

But I think, for me, the ultimate tragedy would be to settle for love.  I understand that somethings are not in our hands.  Fate is beyond our control, and it doesn't always favor us.  But you never know how things turn out unless you wait.  

I know, this post is stupid.  It's so ridiculously random.  I'm jumping from here, to there, back to here again and I apologize.  

I've been typing some stuff out on Word.  Not a screenplay, because I don't know how to write one.  (There is a certain way to write a screenplay)  But more of a background story, or a pool of thoughts that I can just sift through later on.  

I have a general idea of how I want my movie to begin, and I know how I want my movie to end (think tragedy).  I just don't know how I would put it all together, in a believable/interesting plot.  I'm working on it, in my head.  

The clock reads 5:45 AM. 

Good morning?