I'm comin' home.

I Think I Might Need A Sleep Aid

I went to bed over an hour ago, but per usual, I can't sleep

I'm so bad at falling asleep. I know the problem. I think too much. I just can't stop.

I can't tell my mind to stop thinking.

I tried to not think as much (don't ask how). I've tried various methods that people have told me to try.

All have failed.

I thought to myself, maybe if I had someone to talk to. But I don't think that would solve anything. I could write in my moleskin everything that goes on in my brain, and then I'd probably have to buy a new moleskin or two.

Every blog entry I have has the potential to be the longest blog entry I've ever typed.

Yeah, sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk to, but I don't have that luxury here (in Korea). At least not anymore. I miss having friends around me all the time.

Life is so mundane when you don't have anything to do.

It's so weird. I used to love being by myself. Being a homebody.

Now I can't stand it. Such a big change, and it happened out of the blue. I don't remember when I started feeling this way.

I just want to hang out all the time, and enjoy the moment. I guess that's sort of a good thing.

But it's also bad because I might lose focus on what's important.

I'm going to Jeju Island in 6.5 hours. I'll have my thoughts and pictures of Jeju up on my Tumblr & Facebook.

Go Buckeyes.

Yonsei KLI summer session has officially ended. Last Thursday.

It was a good experience. I can't say for certain that I felt completely challenged, but I definitely have a lot more to learn with regards to the Korean language.

I guess I didn't really take the course as seriously as I had wanted to. But it doesn't matter now. At least I passed.

I think I need to find a speaking partner when I go back home. I don't care if they're Korean American, or straight up Korean. I just want to have someone to speak Korean with. Family excluded.

I'm not very good at reading in Korean, so I should read some more books too. I don't think my speaking is all that bad, except that I speak with an accent. An accent that I can't even hear. But everyone else seems to be able to hear it. It's not really a problem, in fact, it probably makes me sound more native, but I'd like to hear the difference for myself. How can I change something I don't notice?

And although my speaking is not my biggest weakness, I still find it to be difficult. I don't want to make mistakes when I speak, and I don't know why, because it's not my first language. But my face says otherwise. I have to be fearless in my approach to speaking Korean. And life in general.

So since KLI has ended, and for the most part I have said my goodbyes, I'm back to being a bum.

I have no reason to wake up early. But that's fine. I like sleeping in while I can. I just don't want to make it a habit.

I've been starting to walk around parts of Seoul again. I wish I had a friend here with me in Korea from the beginning. Someone to explore the city with, someone to take trips with. I think that's what I've been missing since December.

Life is a balance of random and constants. I feel as if my life is a little out of balance.

I need to hurry and settle down somewhere (not permanently), so I can restore the balance of my life. Normally I'm not in a hurry to do things, but this is different. I think 9 months out of college is long enough. I can't do this for more than a year. Granted, it might not be my choice, but for everything that is my choice, I want to make the right ones and move on.

Korea has been good to me. I lost roughly 20 pounds while still eating delicious food.

I'm going to miss the people that I met, and I'm going to hope that all our paths cross in the future.

I'm going to try and blog more during my last few weeks in Korea.

I have a blog?!

So it's been a while.

I'm too lazy to update my playlist, and I haven't been listening to much new music anyways.

My stay in Korea is coming to an end. In about a month.

I'm done with the Yonsei KLI program this Thursday though. It was a good experience. It could have been better. But what's the point in talking about that? I didn't get stellar grades. I didn't even get good grades. But I passed, and right now, that's all I really care about. I passed the final by playing more arcade games, pool, and singing at karaoke than studying the days before the test(s).

The weather in Korea is starting to cool down. I guess I'm a little sad that I won't be able to experience Fall in Korea. Or, at least all of it.

I want to go back home though. But I'm not sure why. I have no friends in Virginia and I have no job. I don't even necessarily like being at "home." I don't even have a car.

On the flip side, everything here in Korea will change within 2 weeks. Almost everyone I have come to know will be gone. Cecil might come and visit, and I really hope he does, cause it would be great to see some other MAIPers in another country.

So basically I'm going from "no life" to "no life."

But of course when I get home, I'm going to resume my job search full force. I will visit people in New York, and hopefully in other states (depending on how much money I have).

Maybe I should have just stayed in Ohio. At least I would probably still have a car, and be living by myself (maybe). I'd know the roads. I'd have friends, sort of. I could always make new friends, or so I'd like to think.

Life in Ohio was so easy. Life in Virginia has the potential to be like that, but there are too many things I don't know about it. It's foreign to me.

Seoul is more home to me than Fairfax, Virginia.

I do miss Five Guys though...

Although I'm trying to be more health conscious these days. I know my family has a history of heart problems, and I'm at the point in life where my body starts to slow down. I haven't been to the gym in over a month, so maybe I'll start running when I get back. (How many times do you think I've said that in the past?)

There are still so many things I want to do in Korea. I just haven't been able to find people to do them with. I've never been to Insa-dong, Namsan Tower, the COEX mall aquarium, and probably a bunch of other things. Maybe I just set the itinerary for when Cecil comes to visit. Cecil, if you read this, we're doing this. Plus eating a ton of food.

Anywho. I probably won't update for at least a week.

Until then, stay classy.