Life Update

So in case you're wondering, I'm still working on my album and screenplay.

But some things have come up within the past few weeks that have occupied my time.  

About two weeks ago I had an interview at Neo@Ogilvy, and I didn't get the job.

This Wednesday I have an interview at Neo@RMG.  I certainly hope to get more interviews down the line, but I also realize that it's a tough time to find a job.  Especially in advertising.  

So I'm going to New York again this week.  I go their so often, I seriously should consider moving there now.  But, I don't have the means...

Hopefully I'll find a job soon so I can move out there.  

So back to my projects.

My album is coming along.  slowly.  It definitely won't be as long as I said it was going to be.  I'm probably going to aim for 8 - 9 tracks.  Since my decision to actually make an album, I've only recorded one song.  And that was two days ago.  I've got writer's block.   But I've had it for what seems like a year.  

I'm now just going through old stuff and seeing if I can make things better.  Maybe re-recording them.  Maybe.  And maybe a cover.  Or two.  Maybe.  I'll figure it out.  

My screenplay is also coming along slowly.  I sort of have the beginning, but I'm still trying to figure out how it will fit into the rest of the story.  Or how the rest of the story will fit into the beginning.  It's all in my mind, but all messed up.  I have to decide which direction I want to take it.  Figure out if I want to end it on a good note, or a bad one.  It will come together eventually.  Hopefully soon.

Later.

Lost

So I've been writing my screenplay, and the software I mentioned in a previous post really helps. 

I still don't know how to describe it, perhaps it's because I'm so tired.  But I don't have to keep formatting it, because it automatically does it for me.  I just have to type.  

I'm having issues though.  Not like, me staying up WAY too late. (I still average like 7-8 hours of sleep despite the fact that I wake up closer to noon)

Rather, I have issues with my plot.  I don't know which direction to take it.  At first I wanted to make it a slightly romantic drama with hints of comedy, but I decided not to do that.  Then I wanted to do straight up tragedy, but thought that was too depressing.  I considered straight up comedy, but I'm not that funny.  

Basically, I don't know if I want to end the story on a good note, or a bitter one.  I like the concept of nobody being happy (in movies).  

Part of the reason why I hate movies that have happy endings is because a lot of the times, it's unrealistic.  But that's what movies are about right?  Escaping reality.  

I don't know what it is.  Part of me wants my main character to be truly happy in the end, and another part of me makes me want my main character to suffer.  

Nothing that involves death or anything of that sort.

I think I'm having a hard time, because I sometimes write the story as if I am the main character.  I then try and think about what I would want, but it conflicts with my story because, I have to steer my character in one direction while I know that I would want to go another way.

It's stupid, because I'm afraid that this story that I have, up here in my head, is actually going to happen to me.  Not exactly, but in general.  The only experiences I have are my own, and I can only write about what I know.  I'm not even trying to film this.  I just want to write a screenplay.  I want to write it because I've always wanted to write one.  

I want to see my story finished.  But every time I try to write, it's like I'm trying to predict what's going to happen to me in real life.  

Is there a word to describe how I'm feeling?  Besides crazy.